Adventures in Being Myself

(Author's note: obviously this post will be published WELL after 12/18 and MANY things have happened since 12/18. It will take me a while to get caught up. That's part of being a new mama!) As I sit here in my living room, listening for my newborn to cry out for mama between clicks of the keyboard, I cannot help but reflect on the last three weeks. It's December 18th and, if things had gone "according to plan" Peegie and I would be brand-new parents as of YESTERDAY...not seasoned, veteran parents of nearly one week. But, as the saying goes, "if you want to make God laugh, make plans!" Over the last three weeks, I found myself thinking a lot about summer vacation...but, not because of fear of imminent child birth! Every summer, Peegie and I travel to Hope Town, Abaco, for summer vacation. We usually plan our vacation to coincide with Regatta Time in Abaco...a five-race regatta that starts in Green Turtle Cay and ends in Marsh Harbour. Since 2002, we have ...

It was bound to happen. In my case it is later rather than sooner (thankfully...) As my doctor wrote in the note for my employer, "Paige is experiencing a complication of pregnancy that requires bedrest for the remainder of her pregnancy." Toxemia. A wicked disease for which the only cure is delivery of a baby. In the meatime, it's Game Over. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Go straight home, lay on your left side, and do not attempt any activity that will elevate your blood pressure. To-do lists, loose ends and plans be damned. This is so not fun, but it could be worse. MUCH worse. To wit: I could be 26 weeks along, instead of 36 weeks. I could be situated in a job without flexibility, benefits, an understanding boss, and technological resources for telecommuting from home. I could be alone, without a loving and doting baby-daddy to cart me to my "social outings" (i.e. weekly prenatal visits) and keep me company. I could have had a challenging pregnancy fro...

For as long as I can remember, Thanksgiving has been about Grandmama's House. My mother grew up in Fort Deposit, a tiny town in SW Alabama, and most of her family still lives in or near there. After she and my father married and moved to Florida, my mother started the tradition of returning to Grandmama's every year at Thanksgiving, to celebrate the holidays. She missed seeing her family at Christmas, but felt strongly attached to the new Christmas traditions we - as a family - shared in Clearwater. So, the Thanksgiving extravaganza was born, and so it continues. This year marks 33 years. As the oldest grandchild, I am clearly the most delinquent for I have missed the celebration twice. In 1999, Peegie and I spent a gorgeous and lovely Thanksgiving week sailing the Exumas aboard Buddy , drinking rum, swimming in gin-clear water, soaking up the sun, eating Healthy Choice turkey from the package and dancing under the stars. This year, I am at home, 35 weeks' pregnant, STRONGL...

I'm actually blinking in this photograph, but Peegie said it looks like I'm in prayer. He's talented with a camera, that man of mine.

I am really looking forward to the final days of 2007. By then, all of my big projects for 2007 will be done...well, sort of, since the actual project of childrearing BEGINS at childbirth, but, still...it will be really fun to enjoy a frosty flute of bubbly and reflect on the year that has been 2007. It's been cosmic and harmonic and weird, all at the same time. Last Sunday marked the finale of the biggest project I've ever done (at least until my water breaks..) In addition to incubating a child due just before New Year, I've spent most of my free time Co-Chairing the 25th Anniversary Taste of the Town...aka the largest fundraiser of the year for the Junior League of Fort Myers. As in, every dollar we need for a year's worth of programming and community projects is raised during a six-hour, outdoor food festival on the first Sunday in November. Yes, it's a lot of work. Yes, I was committed to the project well before learning of my pregnancy. Yes, I am crazy. But, W...

My sister took this photo of Todd and me last night after their trick-or-treating extravaganza. Todd dressed as a pirate for Hallowe'en, but he has not yet mastered the "Art of the AAARRRRRGGGHHH!" as well as his Auntie Paige. He HAS mastered, however, the "Art of Wrapping Auntie Around a Little Finger." Instead of helping Storm Trooper Kyle pass out candy to the trick-or-treaters, Todd jumped into my lap to hide from the "scare-wy" costumes of the older kids. That was just fine with me!

Eight months' pregnant +Co-Assistant Chair of the Junior League's Taste of the Town+Chief of Staff to an overachieving Freshman legislator+ NaBloPoMo for not one, but TWO, blogs=Tipping Point. I pledged to post to my blog at least once each day during November, even if it's just one word. Every. Single. Day. The word for today is "tired." I'm going to sleep.

At left is a scan of several 3D ultrasound photos from today's visit with my doctors. I continue in wonder at the technology available today, and cannot IMAGINE where we'll be in 20 years. I love the third shot...the sonographer thinks it is a bona fide smile since "babies don't have gas in utero..." We both got a good report today: baby is 2 lbs., 14 oz. (+/- .7 oz) and 15 inches long from tip to toe. Heartbeat was a "perfect" 150 bpm. The coolest news is, although I am 28 weeks, 5 days along, baby's development is at 29 weeks, 6 days, which means baby's development is 8 days ahead of my due date. The doctors have not adjusted my due date, but today's measurements indicate baby could make its grand entrance as early as 12/21. My sister thinks baby will arrive on Christmas Day. I would be okay with that...what greater gift could I ever receive? But, I am NOT okay with her suggestion for a name, should the baby arrive on Christmas Day. Someho...

I have just returned from babysitting the two reigning "most precious little boys on the planet" - my nephews, Kyle and Todd. My sister has frequently chastised me for the lack of blog space accorded to her children...and with good reason. Not only are they beautiful children, they are just as sweet-hearted as they are cute. As I put them down for bed tonight - amid repeated requests from Kyle for "just one more hug, Auntie" and from Todd, "I kiss you on forehead, Auntie" - I realized just how blessed I am to be their Auntie and how much I love that role in their lives. I have been told that we cannot know the depths of love until we hold our own child for the first time. We'll see, on or about December 29th of this year. In the meantime, I'm lucky to catch more than rare glimpses of it in my nephews. * Post script: sheesh! If I'm THIS gushy about my nephews, I may need the Paxil to prevent me from drowning in mush about my own child! My apolo...

The day has finally come...I can't avoid it any longer...I finally look pregnant . It's good timing because I'm back in Tallahassee for legislative committee meetings and (yet another) Special Session and all of my friends were expecting to see me pregnant . I'm 28 weeks along (that's expectant-mom-speak for "7 months pregnant") and things are still proceeding very well: no morning/all-day sickness, no weird cravings or aversions, no extreme fatigue, manageable weight gain, and decent energy for everyday life. The photograph at left was snapped by Kent LeBoutillier - Peegie's "Wicked Stepmother" - last Sunday. I think she successfully captured my good side.

Things I have learned: I require EXACTLY nine hours of sleep each night. If those nine hours are interrupted for, say, an hour at some point during the night, I will sleep right through my alarm for the entire interrupted portion of the nine-hour requirement. Pregnancy Senility is a very real condition. I hear it morphs into Mama Senility after delivery. Swimming is the most luxurious form of exercise and stretching during pregnancy. Bonus benefit: quick and true relief for swollen feet! Sitting in a jacuzzi (heated to exactly 99-degrees) under the stars is the best way to bliss out before bedtime. Haagen-Dazs Chocolate Ice Cream tastes better during pregnancy, especially if you mix in a copious number of mini marshmallows. Fast food really IS as bad for the body as they say it is, and the effects of sodium and caffeine are swift and sure. There is no point in pre-registering at the hospital for delivery. No matter how many times you dutifully FAX the carefully completed form to the co...

International "Talk Like a Pirate Day" is the perfect day for sharing the adventure of my 37th birthday. Having been reared in the Greater Tampa Bay Area, I am a long-suffering Buccaneers fan. You may know of the loveable losers - some of us call them the "Yucks" for their tendency to dwell in the cellar of the NFL - or, perhaps you remember the unfortunate branding of their early identity: a very clearly gay buccaneer "Bruce" outfitted in creamsicle and white. Absolutely yucky! Anywhoo, in a very clear case of the "clothes make the man" the Buccaneers - yes, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers - actually won the Super Bowl four years ago after changing their entire identity: pewter and red uniforms, a menacing pirate logo and a fancy, shmancy new stadium in which to destroy those who dared to field a team. When the Bucs started winning, all of Tampa Bay - and her natives - rejoiced, and they actually started going to games. All except me. I was living in t...

On my way back to the office after a lovely and delicious birthday lunch with friends, I stopped at home to drop off birthday balloons and (hopefully) give my man a quick peck on the cheek. As I entered the house, I heard water running and assumed Peegie was taking a shower. But, oh no, this is the scene that greeted me. So, what DO you do when you walk in on your boyfriend as he is shaving his legs?? Laugh, of course, then take pictures and then post them to the internet!! At least he is a hottie.

Today is my birthday and, at 37, I can honestly say that I cannot imagine how life could be any better. I'm happy, healthy, madly in love with my best friend and a baby is on the way. Life really is good. I thought about that this morning when my eyes opened to another sunny late-summer day, my beloved right next to me and baby doing somersaults. If this is what it means to "grow up," I am all about it!

It's been exactly two months since Peegie and I got the biggest surprise of our lives. On or about December 29th of this year, "we" will become "three" when we welcome a child into our lives. It's a good reason to (finally) figure out the scanner feature on the printer in my office. I'm a little slow on the technology curve. Clever, but slow. Here is a picture of the wee tot we are calling "Ziggy" (a term of endearment for Zygote...) Baby looks shy in this photograph but, then again, the poor dear had to endure an hour-long torrent of ultrasound waves that day.

Aunt Ford's LOVELY cottage in Leland...I LOVE Leland. If ever I were to move north, to Leland I would point my sails. A tiny town situated on a peninsula between two lakes - Lake Michigan to the west and Lake Leelanau to the east. Summers are warm and sunny, but temperate and non-humid. The best part of Leland is Peegie's Aunt Ford. She is just awesome...that's the only way to say it! Everywhere we looked along the M22 Corridor there were wildflowers. I thought these were lilacs...they certainly smelled sweetly similar to lilacs; but I think they are just a variety of pretty wildflower. Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore. The park is so named because the dunes resemble a sleeping Mama Bear and Baby Bear. I couldn't "see" the bears (I also can't "see" the Man in the Moon...) but, even so, the park took my breath away. We are standing on a dune that is 450' above the shoreline. There is a path to the beach below, but I was terribly afraid I...

One of my most favorite memories of our trip to Michigan is Camp Arcadia, a Lutheran Family Retreat along the shore of Lake Michigan. Peegie spent two weeks there every summer from the age of 9 until he was a sophomore in college. I have heard about this magical place for longer than 8 years now, and it was high time that I see it for myself. It was nothing like I imagined it would be. It was better. The grounds are lush and green and shaded by beautiful trees. The beaches are sandy and the dunes and bluff ripe for climbing. It was easy to see why Peegie, Mom LeB, Aunt Rochelle, Aunt Marlene, Uncle Marlowe and Derek and Dawn love it so. More than just the natural beauty of its location, I loved seeing my beloved's face light up as we walked the grounds and he recalled stories from childhood - raging bonfires on the beach, climbing the north bluff, petoskey hunting, playing games in the Wigwam... The picture at the top right is titled "New Friends Familiar Places" because...

It is not like me to do things out of order. I'm a Virgo, and just a tad perfectionist, so it really pains me to interrupt the never-ending tale of our motorbike trip through Michigan for a non sequitur. But when I read this story I had to make an exception. It seems some yahoo from San Francisco decided to torch the Man four days early. What a selfish lowlife! He deserves a swift kick in the shins with a pointy-toe slingback. Right now in Black Rock City humans from all over the world are participating in an experiment in temporary community. They are covered in playa dust, costumed, painted, naked, drunk, sober, happy, sad, contemplative, expressive, dancing, standing still, singing, crying, they are hot, they are cool, they are weird, they are beautiful, they are hopeful, they are fearful, they are shy, they are outgoing - they are all of us, at our best and our worst, all at once. But most of all they are are coming together to live for one week in the REAL WORLD: a desert......

The Mackinaw City Bridge (aka Mackinac Bridge) is a suspension bridge spanning the Straits of Mackinac to connect the Uppper and Lower peninsulas of Michigan. Interestingly, the Mackinac Bridge is one of only two segments of Interstate 75 that is tolled. The other segment is Alligator Alley, nary 30 miles south of where we live. Yet another Florida-Michigan connection, but I digress...apparently crossing the Mackinac Bridge is really scary...or, so we had been warned. Upon seeing the bridge, I really didn't get what all the fuss is about. I mean, I live in Florida, surrounded on all sides by water and I regularly travel across long, tall bridges that span deep water. And crossing the Mackinac bridge, even on the back of a motorbike, proved to be no big deal (sorry, Mom LeB!) The picture at left shows our perspective as was traveled south from St. Ignace into Mackinaw City. See? Nothing scary about. Well, there was one sort-of scary thing about the bridge: the inside lane is const...

Life really IS a bowl of cherries (and blueberries...and raspberries...), especially if you happen to be touring Northern Michigan on a BMW GS 1200 in mid-July. As a native Floridian, my impressions of Michigan are largely shaped by the enormous flock of snowbirds that annually flies south on Interstate 75, usually in some form of van or minivan moving at a snail's pace in the left lane. My one and only trip to Michigan - a short weekend trip to Detroit for the Auto Show in early January - did little to convince me that Michigan is anything other than a cold, dirty, grey, industrial wasteland where people speak with a terribly unfortunate accent and suffer from a severe case of sour grapes in college football. On the flipside, I have many good friends who hail from the Wolverine State and wax poetic about the natural beauty of their home state. My love was born in Cheboygan and spent the first three years of his life there while his Pop was stationed aboard the USCG Mackinaw. He al...

Around here summer usually begins with a bang. A bang of a large wooden gavel, that is. As soon as someone says "adjourn sine die " and bangs a gavel on a rostrum, my (fried) brain immediately switches from "all legislature, all the time" mode to "VACATION!" mode. Not so this year. 2007 is a year of different. As soon as the gavel struck the rostrum to end the regular legislative session in May, "VACATION!" mode was postponed by six weeks to accommodate a special legislative session . In the middle of June. Aside from the "most significant property tax relief in Florida history" (snore...), special session produced three most excellent things: 1. more comp time (aka more free vacation days); 2. a grateful boss willing to grant vacation requests, even on short-notice; and 3. a feeling that we got to start summer all over again. Not too shabby. Within a week of returning from the sweat box that is Tallahassee in June, Peegie and I were ha...

We're not supposed to be here. It's summetime, when the the living is supposed to be easy. My definition of "easy living" does not include a 10-day Special Session in Tallahassee. In June. It seems like we never left; only five weeks have passed since the 2007 Regular Legislative Session adjourned sine die with a veritable fit of congratulatory back-slapping and self-praise for a (do-nothing) "effective" and "successful" Session. The Session was so successful that the Legislature called itself back into Special Session (the second Special Session of the year, so far...) to enact " the most significant and historic property tax relief in Florida history ." I mean, really, why do in 60 days what you can put off to a 10-day Special Session? This week promises to be loads of fun. We START floor session tomorrow at 6:00PM. I'm looking forward to all the compensatory time I will accrue this week. By the end of 10 days, my comp time balan...

It's all over. Actually, it was over before it even started. Tropical Storm Barry, the area of "disturbed weather" that sent The Weather Channel team into a frantic twirl of giddiness on Friday, limped across Florida today with so little oomph that all weather warnings were cancelled before the squall even made landfall. Whew! Dodged that bullet! All kidding aside, I'm hoping all of the "tropical systems" we experience this season will be rainmakers a la "Tropical Storm" Barry and not horrific monsters like Charley, Frances, Ivan, Jeanne, Katrina, Rita and Wilma. That list is already too long. Barry dumped more than 7 inches of much-needed rain on the Sunshine State, dousing rampant wildfires, clearing the atmosphere of the acrid smoke, and drowning the exceptionally large swarms (and when I say "swarms," I mean SWARMS!) of lovebugs that have invaded Florida during the past three weeks. Closer to home, the rainshowers lovingly nourished o...

...and it's windy...but, contrary to what The Weather Channel would have you believe, we're not all going to die. As a matter of fact, most of us (including hundreds of weary firefighters who have spent the last two months bravely fighting massive, widespread wildfires...) are doing a happy dance in anticipation of Tropical Storm Barry. Sure, sure, it's the first day of hurricane season and, okay, yes, it IS a tiny bit unnerving that an actual Tropical Storm, with a name and everything!, has formed so early in the season. But, in the days before insta-news, Jim Cantore, and the 2004 and 2005 hurricane seasons, Tropical Storms were considered just slightly more serious than the summer squalls that typically roll in at 3:30 every afternoon. To be sure, weather can change quickly during hurricane season and it is important to pay attention and be prepared - with adequate non-perishable food, water, batteries, flashlights and gasoline for the generator. If you've lived in F...

Say what you will about my Gator Mania... Florida is the first school to hold National Championships in both college basketball and college football simultaneously. Moreover, the 2007 basketball championship is historic in its own right: this team is the first to win back-to-back championships with the same starting lineup. They dissed the NBA's riches for a shot to repeat as National Champs. They got what they wanted - and HOW! It's a great time to be a Gator in Tallahassee. I can't WAIT for Gator Day at the Capitol!

Ticket for the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship - $112.50 Chipping in Gas Money for the Road Trip to the Game - $47.00 Celebratory Accoutrements, including good-luck kamikaze shots - $80 Cheering from the upper deck as your alma mater, the defending National Champion Gator Boys, slash down the court, shoot the lights out and demolish "THE" Ohio State University, leaving their drunk, camouflage mini-skirt wearing, "Hang on Sloopy"-singing fans in despair for the second time in four months - PRICELESS All Hail the Mighty Gators, the best in basketball. Again.

Vignettes from 1003 Capitol this morning: ...health insurance salesman from Miami towering over a fellow aide in a (closely) neighboring cubicle and loudly explaining the "tricks and techniques" for conceiving a baby girl. Apparently, the trick is 1 TBSP. of vinegar dissolved in 1 Cup of water. I cannot bring myself to repeat in print the techniques. My eardrums are scorched. I can't afford to lose my eyesight, too. ...arrogant, pompous, puffed-out local official moving a chair into the conference room for a meeting. The chair in question? Removed from the workspace of an aide who, at that moment, was ON A PHONE CALL WITH THEIR BACK TURNED. Who DOES that? WTF?!?!?!

Despite arriving home at 8:25pm, after spending a full day traffic-copping, tour-directing, hand-holding, babysitting, playing fetch, performing damage control and all other manner of things that constitute the job description of a Chief Legislative Aide in the Florida Legislature, today has been a pretty good day. It's the little things that count, and there were three such things worth noting today. Thing One: Mr. Earnest was my legislative shuttle van driver this morning. I remember him from my first stint in the legislature; but I was not sure he would remember me. It has been more than ten years since I first met Mr. Earnest, and he sees thousands of faces every session. I've always liked Mr. Earnest. He is a nice man with a shy smile but a quick "good morning" for all the weary souls who travel to the Capitol on the early morning shuttles. He knows everything about plants and flowers and I swear he has the direct-connect to Mother Nature. He can call a cold snap...

WTF? is my new favorite acronym. Not only does it remind me of the scene in Sideways where Jack yells at Miles for "going to the darkside," but it's also a very handy way to express frustration without cussing the cause of that frustration. My fondness for this acronym has deepened over the last two days. It has become the title of my version of Things You Need to Be Told. I like to think the Etiquette Grrrls would be pleased with this new iteration of their seminal work on the subject. After all, the world is still the opposite of kind and gentle; and more than ever, people seem to be ill-mannered, inconsiderate, impolite - and completely oblivious to their bad manners. The Florida Capitol is an excellent case-study in the proper use of WTF?, as there are many, many, many people who need to be told many, many, MANY things. Things like, "hey, snot-nose lobbyist, my desk is where I work , so please remove your fat ass from the top of my workspace." Or, "no...

Recent posts on this blog have lamented my extended sojourns in Tallahassee for work at the Capitol. One very good thing about working in Tallahassee is 88.9FM , the local NPR station. I love, love, LOVE 88.9FM. Unlike 90.1FM in Fort Myers, 88.9FM broadcasts NPR programming 24/7. They don't stop talking at 9:00am and 7:00pm in favor of playing classical music. Oh, no. Their broadcast lineup includes all of my old favorites (Fresh Air, Talk of the Nation, Car Talk and Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me) and entices with "new" shows I didn't even know existed (Studio 360, The Splendid Table). With all due respect to Terry Gross, my new favorite is the weekly broadcast from The Commonwealth Club of California. In the last three weeks, I've managed to coincide my departure from the Capitol with the broadcast of this wonderful intellectual conversation. Yesterday, I found myself particularly rapt listening to Barbara Erenreich discuss her newest book, Dancing in the Streets...

I miss you, 143, xxoo

Today is Phil's birthday. He is 41; though, to look at him, you would swear he is not a day older than 31 (and I'm not just saying that because I think he's the hottest man on the planet...) Last year, we celebrated the big 4-OH! with a swanky party in Tallahassee. It was the first time Phil had been feted on his birthday and, since it WAS a milestone birthday, I went all out: yummy catering from M.A.D. About Food; boozy libations; sweet tunes from our favorite local band, The Recliners; and legions of friends and family surrounding the birthday boy with love and good wishes on his special day. Today, on the day of the big 4-ONE! I am in Tallahassee and Phil is at home in Fort Myers. The key clause in that sentence is "Phil is at home in Fort Myers." Yes, HOME. In FORT MYERS. The irony of that reality struck me as I was driving north on the 75, heading to Tallahassee for yet another week of Special Session/committee meetings. In the year since the "40 Is The ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ED! We all love you and miss you.

I have pink-eye. I shouldn't be surprised. I'm in Tallahassee this week for work and I always contract this particular plague at least once. It's an occupational hazard of working at the Capitol, a veritable vortex of disease. On any given day, thousands of people roam the halls spreading all manner of germy ickiness via handshakes and hugs, with nary a 3 oz. bottle of Purell in sight. This year it happened early: this is just the first of six committee weeks in January and February, in advance of the Legislative Session that begins on March 6th and runs for nine weeks. Fifteen weeks of work in a petri dish. Oh joy! Pink-eye is not fun, it's not at all pretty (especially when disease travels from the right eye and also infects the left eye...when that happens, I look like Kate Moss at the height of heroin chic ) and it's expensive. In addition to the cost of the medicinal eyedrops, ridding oneself of the pesky pink-eye plague requires tossing every bit of makeup and...