Adventures in Being Myself

Vignettes from 1003 Capitol this morning: ...health insurance salesman from Miami towering over a fellow aide in a (closely) neighboring cubicle and loudly explaining the "tricks and techniques" for conceiving a baby girl. Apparently, the trick is 1 TBSP. of vinegar dissolved in 1 Cup of water. I cannot bring myself to repeat in print the techniques. My eardrums are scorched. I can't afford to lose my eyesight, too. ...arrogant, pompous, puffed-out local official moving a chair into the conference room for a meeting. The chair in question? Removed from the workspace of an aide who, at that moment, was ON A PHONE CALL WITH THEIR BACK TURNED. Who DOES that? WTF?!?!?!

Despite arriving home at 8:25pm, after spending a full day traffic-copping, tour-directing, hand-holding, babysitting, playing fetch, performing damage control and all other manner of things that constitute the job description of a Chief Legislative Aide in the Florida Legislature, today has been a pretty good day. It's the little things that count, and there were three such things worth noting today. Thing One: Mr. Earnest was my legislative shuttle van driver this morning. I remember him from my first stint in the legislature; but I was not sure he would remember me. It has been more than ten years since I first met Mr. Earnest, and he sees thousands of faces every session. I've always liked Mr. Earnest. He is a nice man with a shy smile but a quick "good morning" for all the weary souls who travel to the Capitol on the early morning shuttles. He knows everything about plants and flowers and I swear he has the direct-connect to Mother Nature. He can call a cold snap...

WTF? is my new favorite acronym. Not only does it remind me of the scene in Sideways where Jack yells at Miles for "going to the darkside," but it's also a very handy way to express frustration without cussing the cause of that frustration. My fondness for this acronym has deepened over the last two days. It has become the title of my version of Things You Need to Be Told. I like to think the Etiquette Grrrls would be pleased with this new iteration of their seminal work on the subject. After all, the world is still the opposite of kind and gentle; and more than ever, people seem to be ill-mannered, inconsiderate, impolite - and completely oblivious to their bad manners. The Florida Capitol is an excellent case-study in the proper use of WTF?, as there are many, many, many people who need to be told many, many, MANY things. Things like, "hey, snot-nose lobbyist, my desk is where I work , so please remove your fat ass from the top of my workspace." Or, "no...