Yes, Anonymous, I know I failed. See there in the sidebar to the right? I admit it. So there. Whatever. On to more important things.
I have been so scattered for the last week. I know the source of my lack of focus: Zane is positively careening toward the big 0h-1! just three days from today. Try as I might, and no matter what I do to distract myself from this fact, I can't help but reflect on the last year and wallow in sentimentality, which leads to lack of focus, which leads to scatterbrained-ness and so on and so forth.
I'm not the type to live in the past, forsaking the joy of today, tomorrow and the next day. But the last year - actually, the last eighteen months - has been amazing. The greatest joy I've ever known is Zane: a tiny, sleepy, snuggly, contented bundle of sweetness who has grown into the happiest, smiliest, most expressive, sweetest little boy.
All of my friends who are mothers comfort my sadness by reminding me that it "just gets better." It's hard to believe that when your own baby is a newborn, and you are enjoying every minute of their baby-ness, and you want so much for life to revert to time-lapse mode.
But as we approach Friday, I am more sure that my girlfriends are right. Zane is every bit the baby who arrived on a clear and balmy December evening, under a waxing crescent moon flanked by bright stars. A calm, alert and observant child from the first minute of life. Confident in himself and his parents, and trusting in his sense of place in this life. He has thrived and, of that, I am especially proud.
It will be hard to say goodbye to infancy on Friday; but that's life. There is always a new adventure.
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