Adventures in Being Myself

As my Anonymous Blog Stalker "politely" reminded me, I haven't kept up with this NaBloPoMo thingy very well in the last five days. Whatever! Thanks for the suggested new daily mantra, but I think I'll stick with what works for me: Recommit daily to your goals. So, getting back to business. Starting with Sunday, five days late. Cheers to all us thieves ! It may be late, but this meme is a perfect metaphor for the chaos that has reigned in my universe during the last five days. 1. Do you like blue cheese salad dressing? Yes, but not the creamy variety. I like blue cheese vinaigrette. 2. Favorite late night snack? Cherry Garcia, or Hash Browns scattered, smothered and covered . 3. Do you own a gun? Yes. A shotgun . 4. What’s your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty coffee shop? Venti Shaken Iced Passion Tea with three Splenda instead of the classic (sugar) syrup. 5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Not anymore, after bi-weekly, then weekly, OB vi...

Mr. Robert P. Tracey (in a thick New Yawk accent...): "Yeah, someone from this number called PetFinders about placing two cats." Me: "Um, no we didn't." Mr. Robert P. Tracey: "Are you sure?" Me: "Um, yeah. Pretty sure." Mr. Robert P. Tracey: "Is this 239/245-2859?" Me: "No. This is 239/245-xxxx." Mr. Robert P. Tracey: "Are you absolutely sure nobody from that number called about placing the cats?" Me: (Inner dialogue: Mr. Robert P. Tracey, sir, I assure you that no one from our household called PetFinders from our home line to inquire about placing two cats. Really. I promise. Beyond the fact that we rarely use our home phone, much less at 9:58pm, and that our number isn't 239/245-2859, we are not cat people. Oh, Mr. Tracey, if you only knew just how vehemently we are not cat people...) "Yes. I am absolutely sure."

A Friday haiku for my Anonymous Blog Stalker (Hi Kevin!): It is not Lupus, Silly no-name commenter. It is BRONCHITIS.

I have officially given up on this week. I spent another day meandering between the sofa and my bed, covered and uncovered (depending on my fever), watching smut on the telly. Bravo disappointed me today; but, Oh, VH1! Your Celebrity Rehab made me feel like I could run a marathon today, even in my pitiable, tired, feverish, congested, coughing-up-a-lung state. And, by the way, am I the only one who thinks it is so very, very sad that Kenicky is a chronic addict? Zane is officially 11 months old (as of yesterday), and he is now officially waving "bye bye." And so far, so good on our mission to keep him safe from invasion by the germs infecting his Mama. PG is tired. Bless his dear soul, he has been Super Papa, nurse maid and full-time employee all week. He even made homemade "junk" soup for supper last night because that was the only thing that sounded even remotely good. And it WAS good. Tylenol Cold Nighttime=good. Claritin D=no bueno. Gas prices have fallen to $1....

...severe respiratory infection and bronchitis. So, "Anonymous" thanks for suggesting it may be Kuru (what-the-shutchermouf???) or Lupus ; as if I didn't feel bad enough already. Anywhoo, it's Day Five of "not feeling so good," and Day Three of laying on the sofa watching the ever-entertaining smut on BravoTV . Until this week, I thought the powers-that-be at Bravo had really hit a low note with The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Now I understand its value: providing seriously sick mamas with a dose of indulgent, guilty pleasure between bouts of coughing up nasty green stuff. One question, though: why are they ALWAYS DRINKING on that show? Seriously! That Kim person was actually holding a full wine glass while sitting in her Porsche. I'm sure she wasn't driving but, still, open container law much? Also, my new favorite expression is "black don't crack," another Kim-ism. Throw me some love, internets, post some comments with clever uses for...

I do not know what has infected my being but, apparently, I'm providing a nice, cozy environment and it has decided to stay for a while. I (still) feel miserable, but I'm thanking my lucky stars for several things today: PG, for skipping work to take care of me Zane, for his super-happy, contented demeanor and for his habit of sleeping through the night Miss Diana and Miss Victoria, for taking such wonderful care of Zane today (on my day off, while I was at home) Tylenol Cold Crisp, clean sheets on my bed A long, hot shower Plenty of accrued sick leave Leather sofas that are cool on a feverish body Remote control television Non-stop, smutty entertainment on BravoTV; and Wireless internet Also, I heard a story on the BBC World News this morning about a political dissident in Burma who was on the run and in hiding, and who had not seen her 7-month-old daughter since she was 4-months-old. The details of the story are hazy...I was still groggy from last night's medication. But,...

I cannot believe how awful I felt all day today. What started as a lingering, worsening two-day sore throat morphed over night into something resembling a flu, including all of the fun gastrointestinal issues that go along with that. Sigh. The bright side is two-fold: PG is an AWESOME nurse, and an even better father. So not only were all of my needs met today, so were Zane's. That's some good stuff, right there. Also, thank you to Karen, Aunt Laura and Lisa for the shout-outs from the fan club. Reading your comments was also a bright spot in an otherwise truly miserable day.