Adventures in Being Myself

It's time to lighten the mood in this joint. It is Friday, after all, and who wants to ride ickiness into the weekend? Not me. So, here are two brand-spankin'-new photos of my boys. It's too bad they really don't like each other very much. PG - 43 years, Zane - 17 months Nice try, but no. We are not cutting Zane's hair. EVER.

My darling Zane - As I write this entry, you are asleep; snugly enveloped in your beloved blanket, pacifier in your mouth, breathing (oh, how I love to hear you breathe...) steadily, and skipping happily along in dreamland. You cannot understand - or, maybe you do - that your birthday is nigh. And not just any birthday; your very first birthday on Earth, and quite a special occasion for all of us. Exactly one year ago today, God made us a family and the well of love in our hearts became bottomless. Your name means "gracious gift of God," and we chose that name for you because you are the greatest blessing in our life. I hope whenever someone asks you about the meaning of your name you will always remember that: YOU are the greatest blessing and gift in our life. As I reflect on the last year, my heart overflows with gratitude and love. Gratitude to God: He said to Pop and me, "you are to be parents; but trust in me." We did, and he gave us you. You, the love of our...

Given that he is only 10-1/2 months old, PG and I were understandably more excited than Zane about his First Hallowe'en. Energized by the first true cold snap of the year, I spent all of last week creating the Hallowe'en I remember from my own childhood: a visit to the pumpkin patch; a carved Jack 'o Lantern; roasted pumpkin seeds; my mother's oatmeal cookies; homemade caramel apples; costumes created from scratch based on imagination, ingenuity and a few inexpensive craft supplies; a ginormous bowl of candy for trick-or-treaters; and fun with my family. Still, Zane was a good sport about the whole thing, even after I drew a kitty's nose and whiskers onto his sweet face, and topped his fuzzy little head with ears made of pipe cleaners and felt. "Laverne" joined us for an early supper of chicken & yellow rice (complete with sangria!) because it is important to have a good supper before trick-or-treating...(especially if you plan to join your fun next-do...

Even though an arctic blast chilled the evening, there's something a bit odd about a pumpkin patch that is surrounded by palm trees. But that's the way of our world here in Southwest Florida This was what I did last year for Hallowe'en. And this year: Zane was not very fond of climbing around on the pumpkins, to my disappointment. We visited the patch during his usual catnap time. The upside-down Jack-o-Lantern.

College football, Gator football, has always been part of my life. On the night that my mother went into labor with me, my father was with my Uncle Lenny in Jacksonville for the Florida-Duke football game. The story goes that my dad and Uncle Lenny made it home to Clearwater in 3-1/2 hours and, as soon as he arrived, I was born at 7:16am. That was in 1970. By the 1971 season, my dad and mom had season tickets - three to be exact - and our Saturday afternoons were spent in Section 15, Row 71, Seats 10, 11 and 12 at Florida Field. That was well before Ben Hill Griffin gave the UAA a boatload of cash for upgrades and naming rights. It was also well before the first Glory Years of Gator Football (1983-1985), before Emmitt Smith, before the second coming of Steve Spurrier, and before most everything that now defines Gator Football. Back then, we sat through day games, in dress clothes, and suffered 0-10-1 and 0-11 seasons. We ate Original Recipe Kentucky Fried Chicken with mashed potatoes...

What do you get when you add one 85th birthday, one 65th wedding anniversary and one 90th birthday?... A GREAT BIG OLE' PARTY! Ever since I can remember, summertime meant "Grandmama's house." Ashley and I didn't go to camp; we spent six weeks at Grandmama's in rural Alabama. Our grandparents hail from large, tight-knit families - as do most folks their age, in that part of the country - and they created a large, tight-knit family with six children. When grandchildren started arriving, close relationships with the new members of the clan were forgone conclusions. The challenge was creating those close relationships, since all of the Top 5 Grands lived far away from Fort Deposit. My grandmama is a strong woman, and she loves her grandchilden, and she wanted us for the summer. Think about that statement for a moment: she wanted us - all five of us - for the summer. There was no question of where would we all sleep, or bathe, or what would we eat, or however would...

Three months ago I posted the Seven Month Update about our Zane. Three months! It is a truism that infants change by the minute; but it is also true that, as time passes, and if you pay close attention, babies become less a mystery. The more things change, the more they stay the same... So, here is what is still true about our little man - three months later: He is still the happiest and smiliest child I have ever known. He still LOVES people. He still has 100 different variations of his smile, and I love that his face is so expressive. His fingernails still grow faster than mine. Blowing raspberries still cracks him up. He is still a very good eater. He will eat most anything we prepare for him, but his favorites are lentils/brown rice, yogurt, squash, carrots, sweet potatoes, peas, pears, peaches, applesauce, bananas and apples with any other mix-in. We have not tried the prunes again (no need) and we do not push the green beans (there is plenty of time for him to learn to love the...

On March 22, 2008, PG and I had Zane baptized. I'm not a church-going gal, but I believe in God. If ever there were a time that I questioned "God," my questions were answered - and my faith in Him restored - when I learned I was pregnant with Zane. Despite all precautions to the contrary, here we are, two people who never thought we would have children, with a beautiful baby boy, and a life that is enriched beyond what either of us ever imagined. That is the power of God. It is very true that we both flipped our s*%t when two positive home pregnancy test results were confirmed by my doctor. It is very true that it took a little while for both of us to get our head around becoming "three." And, I believe this to my core, it is very true that God himself was - and still is - intervening directly in our lives. He said, "take that leap of faith...trust in me...and I will take care of you." And He did. I had an easy pregnancy until the last three weeks ....

Living in Southwest Florida has a lot of benefits - like going to the beach in mid-February. This was Zane's first trip to the beach.

Peegie and I are having so much fun with our little buddy! EVERYONE warned us that he would grow faster than we can blink, but we really had no idea just HOW FAST "fast" really is...we can hardly believe he will be eight weeks old tomorrow! Our days are filled with smiles and coos, and our nights are filled with sweet baby sleep sounds and (usually) seven total hours of sleep. Here are two photos from the last week: Bathtime with Pop. Zane adores his Pops, and Peegie adores his little buddy. We are THRILLED that he seems to be a water baby! To be fair, we are extremely proud (and biased...) parents; but, have you ever seen a more beautiful child?? We are just smitten with our sweet baby Zane!

For as long as I can remember, Thanksgiving has been about Grandmama's House. My mother grew up in Fort Deposit, a tiny town in SW Alabama, and most of her family still lives in or near there. After she and my father married and moved to Florida, my mother started the tradition of returning to Grandmama's every year at Thanksgiving, to celebrate the holidays. She missed seeing her family at Christmas, but felt strongly attached to the new Christmas traditions we - as a family - shared in Clearwater. So, the Thanksgiving extravaganza was born, and so it continues. This year marks 33 years. As the oldest grandchild, I am clearly the most delinquent for I have missed the celebration twice. In 1999, Peegie and I spent a gorgeous and lovely Thanksgiving week sailing the Exumas aboard Buddy , drinking rum, swimming in gin-clear water, soaking up the sun, eating Healthy Choice turkey from the package and dancing under the stars. This year, I am at home, 35 weeks' pregnant, STRONGL...

My sister took this photo of Todd and me last night after their trick-or-treating extravaganza. Todd dressed as a pirate for Hallowe'en, but he has not yet mastered the "Art of the AAARRRRRGGGHHH!" as well as his Auntie Paige. He HAS mastered, however, the "Art of Wrapping Auntie Around a Little Finger." Instead of helping Storm Trooper Kyle pass out candy to the trick-or-treaters, Todd jumped into my lap to hide from the "scare-wy" costumes of the older kids. That was just fine with me!

I have just returned from babysitting the two reigning "most precious little boys on the planet" - my nephews, Kyle and Todd. My sister has frequently chastised me for the lack of blog space accorded to her children...and with good reason. Not only are they beautiful children, they are just as sweet-hearted as they are cute. As I put them down for bed tonight - amid repeated requests from Kyle for "just one more hug, Auntie" and from Todd, "I kiss you on forehead, Auntie" - I realized just how blessed I am to be their Auntie and how much I love that role in their lives. I have been told that we cannot know the depths of love until we hold our own child for the first time. We'll see, on or about December 29th of this year. In the meantime, I'm lucky to catch more than rare glimpses of it in my nephews. * Post script: sheesh! If I'm THIS gushy about my nephews, I may need the Paxil to prevent me from drowning in mush about my own child! My apolo...

Despite arriving home at 8:25pm, after spending a full day traffic-copping, tour-directing, hand-holding, babysitting, playing fetch, performing damage control and all other manner of things that constitute the job description of a Chief Legislative Aide in the Florida Legislature, today has been a pretty good day. It's the little things that count, and there were three such things worth noting today. Thing One: Mr. Earnest was my legislative shuttle van driver this morning. I remember him from my first stint in the legislature; but I was not sure he would remember me. It has been more than ten years since I first met Mr. Earnest, and he sees thousands of faces every session. I've always liked Mr. Earnest. He is a nice man with a shy smile but a quick "good morning" for all the weary souls who travel to the Capitol on the early morning shuttles. He knows everything about plants and flowers and I swear he has the direct-connect to Mother Nature. He can call a cold snap...

Today marks nine years since my father died. The significance of the date landed on me with a thud. In the last nine years, not a single day has passed without me missing him or repeating my silent prayer that he stay close to me. Still, in the busy goings-on of daily life, it took a teaser story about Pearl Harbor to remind me that today is December 7th. Life proceeding normally and then, Thud. Normalcy is bittersweet. Losing my father is the single-worst thing I've had to endure as a human, so, on December 7, 1997, the "normalcy" of the surrounding world really ticked me off. How could the universe not skip a beat? How could life possibly be normal again? But, happily, it is. Somehow the universe always seems to take care of us, even when we don't know it. So, here's to Ed - this cheer's for you!